Today is the last day of the fourth month of my Happiness Project for 2011.
To recap, I chose to focus on Marriage. My resolutions for the month were to:
- Be more physically affectionate
- Give proofs of love
- Express appreciation
- Leave things unsaid
- No nagging
- Stop snapping
- Cease the backseat driving
- Imitate Martha Stewart (good little housewife)
As I mentioned in my Happiness Project update, I found this month to be pretty easy compared to the previous months. I imagine this is mostly because I have been deliberately trying to improve this area of my life for the last 6 months already so there wasn’t as much improvement needed here as there was in my other months.
Be More Physically Affectionate
At the beginning of the month I said that “I do try my best to show my affection through touch and personal contact but there are some days when life gets in the way. I’m tired, I’ve had a bad day or I’m just too busy to even think about it. I need to make this a priority, regardless of the type of day I’m having.” For most of the month, I do believe that I have shown more affection, however, this last week I have fallen off the wagon. I’ve been tired, haven’t been in the best spirits and I’ve noticed that this was one of the first things I’ve dropped. Last night I asked my husband how he thinks I did this month and he said everything was good except for this one. I apologized and acknowledged that I did in fact fall short at this goal. He said it was okay and he understood, however, I am not okay with it. On the first day I said I’d make this a priority and yet it was the first thing to be forgotten. This is unacceptable in my eyes and I am going to make an extra effort to focus on this in the upcoming months.
Give Proofs of Love
I did give proofs of love this month but I wish I had done more. Again, my fatigue got in the way of my effort and creativity. I left a few notes in his lunch pail, I sent a number if sweet text messages and on our anniversary I covered the house in adoring post-it notes. I suppose it has more meaning when you receive a cute note once in awhile rather than everyday so maybe the amount of “proofs” I gave was a good amount. Besides, I have the rest of the year to continue with this resolution so I still have plenty of time to get creative.
Express Appreciation
This goal has had a strange twist. In the beginning I was very appreciative, saying thank you for tons of stuff, even giving thanks for things done months in the past. Now that the month is over, I have realized that I have become so accustomed to showing appreciation that I don’t even notice when I’m doing it anymore. I going to assume that’s a good thing. Saying thank you has become a habit now and I hope it sticks!
By focusing on my appreciation of all the good things he does I definitely noticed a lot more of the little things and I think the fact that I have become aware of them and that I have said thanks made him want to do even more. Win-win! 🙂
Leave Things Unsaid
In the beginning of the month, this was my most difficult goal. I think as the month went on though, it became easier to keep my mouth shut. Perhaps this is simply because I am worn out and don’t want to take the big effort to talk, I’m hoping it is more a matter of me becoming aware of what I do say and choosing to keep certain things unsaid. I guess time will tell.
No Nagging
I haven’t nagged once during the whole month. I wasn’t a big nagger in the first place though so I’m not going to gloat about this success too much.
Stop Snapping
I have not snapped once during the whole month! Now this one deserves some triumphant fist pumps! Snapping is a natural response for me and is really hard to control when I’m feeling particularly annoyed or frustrated. The fact that I made it through an entire month is awesome. I don’t want to jinx it but I think I just might have broken the habit and can avoid snapping for the rest of the year. *fist pump*
Cease the Backseat Driving
This one has been a little difficult as I have a hard time biting my tongue but I actually managed to get through the entire month with only speaking up one time. I apologized immediately so no harm was done.
Imitate Martha Stewart (good little housewife)
I did really well with this one for the first few weeks as well and then slacked off as I became more tired. I hope to get my act together and do a good cleaning this weekend but it’s just so hard to force myself to get off my butt and clean when I’m feeling exhausted. I’m pretty sure my husband understands that when I’m extra tired the housework is going to suffer slightly and he’s ok with that. He has his bad days too and knows how good it feels to just take a day or two to rest and leave the dirty dishes in the sink. As long as I don’t let the dirtiness go too far, and I keep up with the chores when I’m feeling better, I think everything will be super!
The overall “a-ha” message I received from this month is that when I’m feeling drained, everything suffers. Even the simple things like leaving a note or touching my husband seems overwhelming. Ultimately, sleep and exercise really are a huge part of my overall happiness. When my sleep suffers and I don’t get enough time on my treadmill I quickly become exhausted which leads to less exercise which in turn drains me further. And when I’m beat, I’m less likely to do any of the other things that contribute to my happiness.
As each new month approaches, I am adding more and more to my plate. As a consequence, my time becomes limited and I start to slack on the previous goals. As my social calendar fills up, my friendships improves but my free time for exercise becomes restricted. The more time I spend on hobbies I enjoy, the less time I have for sleep. I think it’s now time for me to set my priorities. Although all these goals are important to me, I need to manage my schedule better and put certain things, like exercise, at the top of the list.
Happiness is a Lifestyle 